There
are several expressions consistently used in articles about
us, seniors, that I find bothersome and completely inappropriate.
Number one on my list is “the
golden years”. While this time of my life certainly
has many pleasures and rewards and I am a naturally positive
and optimistic personality type, I would not refer to these
years as “golden”.
Colorful? Oh my, yes! But
also streaked with some darker hues, this time frame like
all periods of our lives, comes with its’ own set
of challenges.
My mother had a sign in her
kitchen which now resides in mine and it is a daily reminder
of her philosophy. It reads, “Old Age Ain’t
for Sissies”. Perhaps, “Golden Years”
would be better re-named, “The Years that Challenge”
because these are the years that test out life’s philosophy
and meaning.
The other miss-used term
that has become increasingly popular is “growing old
gracefully”. I am trying to grow old with dignity,
with some acquired wisdom and with a sense of humor, but
I can’t seem to manage graceful.
Whoever coined that phrase
has never tried to move arthritic limbs from a deep-pillowed
couch or arise in a sprightly manner from a hard restaurant
chair after one’s legs have been inactive for an hour
or more.
As to my after-the-squeezed-theater-seat
stagger, it is not only lacking in grace, it causes those
around me some wide-eyed alarm as I momentarily sway to
and fro like a drunken sailor. Since my ankle was badly
broken in a fall several years ago, any stairs are a real
challenge and I navigate them like a three year old, one
step at a time, clinging to the railing for dear life and
delaying all the young, gazelle-like creatures behind me.
As those of you who follow
this column know, I love to travel and I try to surmount
physical obstacles with a combination of medication, determination
and creativity that sometimes includes a friendly “boost
from behind” but graceful? Not by the wildest stretch
of imagination!
I use and appreciate the
Yale Shoreline Medical Center but I couldn’t help
but notice that their Spring Health Education series listed
the following: “Current Therapy for Coronary Artery
Disease”,” Treatment Options for Breast Cancer”,”
Are You At Risk for Stroke?” and “Do You Suffer
From Facial Pain?” among other encouraging topics.
At the very end were two lectures
on “Aging Gracefully” which dealt with physical
and mental changes and road safety. Somehow, none of these
subjects made me want to jump out of bed in the morning,
excited to start my day. A recent woman’s magazine
cover headlined the following articles: “Do You Hate
Your Hips?” “Is It Time For a Face Lift?”,
“Secrets to a Better Sex Life” “Are You
Certain the Food You Eat is Safe?” and lastly, an
article on “How to Relax and Beat Stress” which
if you had even skimmed the other topics, would surely be
required reading to prevent worry over-load.
We either fixate on the down
side of aging or choose to ignore it completely. Retirement
brochures feature sun kissed couples golfing or sharing
cocktails at sunset. The typical resident in a retirement
community is a single woman who uses a walker and goes to
bed early. Retirement communities offer many advantages
and as a senior consultant, I often recommend them, but
they are not quite the country clubs the advertisements
portray.
One of the major difficulties
with dealing with any problem is the refusal to look the
problem squarely in the eye and face facts. America’s
love affair with youth and its’ refusal to accept
and acknowledge the aging process as a normal and natural
occurrence, makes it all the more difficult for those of
us who are living the reality.
This can be a rewarding and
exhilarating time of life only if our society no longer
tries to deny its’ inevitability.
Jean Cherni
is founder of Senior Living Solutions, a retirement advisory
service. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or
15 The Ponds, Branford 06405.
H. Pearce Company REALTORS®
is a full-service real estate company with more than 100
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