There
are many excellent home health care agencies serving our
area, each with its' own specialties, Griswald Special Care,
the Guilford VNA, Home Choice Senior Care, to mention just
a few. Home Instead Senior Care, a multi-nation franchise
offering non-medical companionship and home care, has just
launched a helpful public education campaign to get seniors
and their families, talking. Called the 40-70 Rule, it suggests
that if you are 40 and your parents are 70, it is time to
start a conversation about of the difficult issues on the
horizon ... i.e.: finances, independence, driving, etc.
Extensive research conducted by Home Instead Senior Care
revealed that many adults have a major communication obstacle
with their parents, stemming from the parent-child role.
While 35% of the Boomers communicate
daily with their parents, many would like to know more about
their parents' personal situations so they could help them
if necessary. Boomers have the most difficulty discussing
independence issues, with the need to make a move and losing
driving privileges, the most difficult to discuss. And boomers
whose parents live under the same roof, have the most trouble
discussing issues with their parents.
Seven tips to help Boomer
Children Communicate with their Parents are:
- Get Started. Begin to carefully
and thoughtfully observe and gather information.
- Talk It Out. Approach your
parents with a conversation about your observations. If
your parents acknowledge the situation, ask them what
they think would be a good solution. If they don't recognize
a problem, use concrete examples to support your case.
- Sooner is Better. Don't
wait until a crisis has occurred. If you know your loved
one has poor eyesight or trouble driving at night, address
those issues before a problem arises.
- Forget the Baby Talk. Don't
patronize. You are talking to an adult, not a child.
- Maximize Independence.
Look for solutions that optimize strengths and compensate
for problems. Look for tools that can help them maintain
their strengths. Help with light meal preparation, housekeeping
or med reminders.
- Stay Tuned In. Continue
to observe and ask questions. Be sure they are still involved
with friends and have a satisfying social life.
- Ask For Help. Get professional
advice or an outside specialist to initiate the conversation.
Area Agencies on Aging and local senior centers can provide
solutions.
According to Jake Harwood,
Ph.D. national author and the former director of the University
of Arizona's graduate program in Gerontology, "If an
adult child always turns first to the parent in times of
trouble, regularly needs money from the parent, or calls
the parent every time there is a crisis in their romantic
life, then they can expect the parent to continue acting
out the parenting role". Adult children need to be
aware of the sorts of behaviors they are engaging in, which
may cause their parents to act parentally".
For a free Guide to Conversation
Starters, call (203) 458-2992 or got to homeistead.com
for a complete listing of all the Home Instead Offices.
In the event, a move is a considered alternative, the Senior
Services division of H. Pearce has several helpful booklets.
Call Barbara Connors, Service Coordinator at (203) 795-2600.
Jean Cherni
is founder of Senior Living Solutions, a retirement advisory
service. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or
15 The Ponds, Branford 06405.
H. Pearce Company REALTORS®
is a full-service real estate company with more than 100
agents and branch offices in greater New Haven and the Shoreline.
Corporate and & Commercial offices are located in North
Haven, where the company was founded in 1958. All listings
can be found in color on the web at: www.hpearce.com. |
