My
mailman is probably becoming stoop shouldered from all of
the mail he delivers to me on a daily basis……
bills, credit card and subscription offers, financial statements,
business proposals and magazines as well as the usual “junk
mail”. However, the all too occasional personal letter
stands out immediately because of its’ rarity.
Letter writing, which throughout
much of recent history was the most popular method of communication,
started to decline after World War 11. During that war,
letters from sweethearts and wives who had decided to break
up with their soldiers who were overseas, were so frequent,
they became known as “Dear John’s”. Emily
Post’s 1922 edition of her book on manners devoted
a substantial portion to the art of letter writing.
In Egypt there is an ancient
custom of writing letters to dead relatives to ask for help
with problems. But now ‘a days, we even send Valentine’s
Day and birthday greetings by e-mail or text messaging.
Somehow, an e-mailed “ I luv u 4 ever” does
not convey the same emotional feeling or have the same impact
as a beautifully illustrated card in an elegant envelope
or the cut and paste drawing efforts of a loving grandchild.
In the 19th century, a popular
English manual called “The Lovers Letter Writer”
proposed using scented
ink, special papers and elegantly ribbon decorated envelopes
as well as sealing wax “to insure the safety of your
sentiment”. Letter writing at the time was so popular
and considered such an important social grace that the Dutch
painter, Vermeer, executed at least five paintings featuring
letter writing. Most famous are “Girl Reading Letter
at an Open Window”, “The Love Letter”
and “Woman in Blue Reading a Letter”. In many
countries, scribes made a profitable living, composing and
writing letters for those unable to do their own.
As recently as the year 2,000,
there was a most interesting letter writing project produced
at a museum near Boston by the artist, Lee Mingwei to honor
his grandmother. He realized when she had passed away, he
had many things he had wanted to say to her but it was too
late---- so he started writing letters to her. He thought
that other people had letters they needed to write, as well.
His project consisted of three beautifully made glass and
wood booths with a writing surface inside each. Stationary
was provided and visitors were invited to write a letter
they had been meaning to write but for one reason or another,
had not done so. Letters could be sealed or unsealed and
if left unsealed, could be read by others. Mr. Mingwei said
that some of the letters were so beautiful, it made him
cry. The exhibit was very popular, showing that even though
communication is everywhere, modern technology does not
make for a contemplative kind of experience. I think Harriet
Doerr expressed it well when she said, “I have everything
I need….. a page, a pen and memory raining down on
me”.
Perhaps mother was right when
she nagged you to write a thank you note when someone sends
you a gift, entertains you at their home, or does you a
kindness. I know that I appreciate and enjoy the e-mails
I receive from readers but I treasure the little hand written
notes on floral paper that a few people have gone to the
trouble to write.
The reason hand written letters
are especially appreciated and meaningful is precisely because
they do take a little time and extra effort and carry a
special, personal touch in a world that is becoming more
and more impersonal.
Jean Cherni
is founder of Senior Living Solutions, a retirement advisory
service. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or
15 The Ponds, Branford 06405.
H. Pearce Company REALTORS®
is a full-service real estate company with more than 100
agents and branch offices in greater New Haven and the Shoreline.
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