“It
is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly
turns to compassion and understanding.”
— Erma Bombeck
This column is normally written
by my mother, Jean Cherni. But for this Mother’s Day,
I jokingly said to my “always-on-the-go mom,”
that maybe the gift I should give her, would be to write
her column. She thought it was a great idea, but then the
joke turned into something more serious, for my mother and
I have struggled a great deal to understand and love each
other fully.
My words, sadly, have more
often contained judgment than love. So on this day, I offer
a list of some of the things from my mother, for which I
am grateful. I hope it may inspire others to make a phone
call, send a letter, or if your Mom has passed away, to
just say “thank you” in your heart.
Mom, I am deeply grateful
that I was born your daughter. I am thankful that you carried
me for nine months and that I was born into this world,
the daughter of a woman like you. I am grateful for the
way you find something of interest in almost everyone you
meet, and that you try to communicate with them, from your
heart.
I especially love the fact
that your eyes light up every time you meet someone from
Japan, and you speak to them in Japanese to express your
joy for their country.
One of the earliest phrases I can remember is, “Ikimasho,”
which in Japanese means, “Let’s go.” I
would say this to try to get you to hurry up your conversations
with others, when I was small.
I am grateful for your interest
in the world, in other people’s cultures and for your
strong belief that all people, no matter what their gender,
race, sexual preference, or economic status, were not just
equal, but worth inviting to dinner and getting to know.
It has made my life rich to know everyone from refugees
to CEOs and to honor each of them. I know that this belief
was passed on to you by Grandma, but you held onto to it
well.
I am grateful for your belief
in a woman always working to support herself, to have her
own salary and career. I know this comes from watching your
own mother have to ask her husband for money whenever she
needed something and the silent promise you made yourself,
that you would never do that.
I am grateful that despite
your wanting me to be a Radio City Rockette, that you did
not have a dream for me other than for me to find my own
dream. Through you, I have gained financial freedom and
the ability to dream big dreams and to believe I could find
the resources to make those dreams a reality.
I am grateful for watching
you give and serve others and believing that giving and
serving are an integral part of a life that matters.
I am even grateful for the
part of you that I find most difficult; the part that wants
to put a happy face on, or look away from, some of the pain
in our family. But as I grow older, I realize that it is
this part, the part of you that says, “turn toward
the light” that in my darkest hours, have driven me
to say, “I will go on.”
Happy Mother’s Day.
I love you, Mom.
— Marianne
Jean Cherni
is founder of Senior Living Solutions, a retirement advisory
service. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or
15 The Ponds, Branford 06405.
H. Pearce Company REALTORS®
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