"Senior Moments" Articles
*as featured in The New Haven Register, Living Section

Reality of single parenthood never makes the cover of celebrity mags

By Jean Cherni, H. Pearce Company's Senior Living Services Program

Articles

2008

Having a “bump” would seem to be the latest fashion accessory among the Hollywood set and other celebrities. Who is pregnant, who might be pregnant and who hopes to become pregnant, is the major topic of interest. Like it or not, celebrities and their life styles exert a big influence on America’s moral values. That is why, in their declining years, they are paid to advertise pet food, scooters and sanitary products. And the young are influenced by the young celebrities. The example that Brittany Spears and her sister, 16 year old Jamie Lynn, have set for teenagers, couldn’t be worse. Brittany, a lost child herself, was obviously not ready to be a mother and now her sister is about to become an un-married mother. What’s more, Jamie is quoted as saying, ”I was in complete and total shock and so was he”. (Nobody ever told her that if you have sex, pregnancy is a definite possibility?) Almost as comical is that just previous to her pregnancy revelation, the mom of both these girls was about to publish a book on being a Hollywood mother --- something she obviously did not excel at. Matthew McConaughey announces on his web site that he and his girlfriend have made a baby together. No mention of marriage. Halle Berry is pregnant by a boyfriend and Salma Hayek and her “fiancée” are expecting. Television shows such as “Sex And the Single Girl” promote the message that sex with many partners is cool and perfectly okay. At the suggestion of my son and others, Val and I rented the recent movie, “Knocked Up” despite the distasteful title. We suffered through it almost to the end but could find nothing at all humorous in the situation or the movie. That two irresponsible silly kids suddenly are transformed by impending parenthood, is just not believable. I have not as yet seen “Juno”, another movie about a 16 year old who becomes pregnant and selects a couple to adopt the baby but again, un-married pregnancy is treated in a tone as light as directions to icing a cake. Could it be just a coincidence that teen age pregnancies as well as pregnancies before marriage have gone up for the first time in quite a few years? Brittany Spears may be paid $1 million by OK magazine for her story but most teen age girls who become pregnant pay a high price in loss of education, job opportunities, and the chance forma meaningful, lasting relationship.

Girls who have un-wanted or un-planned pregnancies are, thank goodness, no longer hidden away or vilified but pregnancy is still a serious, often life changing, event and can carry with it the responsibility of parenthood. What is interesting tome is that in none of these movies is the possibility of an abortion even seriously considered. Whatever your views, it is a legal option and in real life situations, is both considered and used. The only movie that presents the disturbing story of an illegal abortion, is the soon to be released and award winning foreign film from Rumania, “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days”.

In today’s marketplace where sex is used to sell everything from cars to toddler’s clothes, it is un-realistic to think that abstinence-only education is going to work. We need to have more realistic portrayals of the questions to be resolved when pregnancies do occur, the long term results of having either an abortion or a child and the recognition that sex, while wonderful, is for grown-ups, whatever their age.

Jean Cherni is founder of Senior Living Solutions, a retirement advisory service.  Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds, Branford 06405.

H. Pearce Company REALTORS® is a full-service real estate company with more than 100 agents and branch offices in greater New Haven and the Shoreline. Corporate and & Commercial offices are located in North Haven, where the company was founded in 1958. All listings can be found in color on the web at: www.hpearce.com.




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