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How can it be
that fall has arrived when I don’t feel as though
I have, as yet, experienced a real summer?
Nevertheless, the calendar says autumn officially begins
Tuesday at precisely 5:18 p.m.
Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, was celebrated Saturday,
stores are full of items for Halloween and Thanksgiving,
and the Metropolitan Museum’s Christmas catalog arrived
this past week, as well.
Apparently, the planners at the department stores and other
retail emporiums have determined that in a weak economy,
the answer to inducing people to spend money is to extend
the holiday season. The only problem with this theory is
that one holiday blends into the next, like watercolors
blending on a piece of paper, and the true color or flavor
of any specific event is muddied or lost, completely.
I do believe most people become utterly dispirited when
viewing pumpkins on Labor Day and Christmas wrap or Santa
suits in October. Instead of finding enjoyment in each holiday
in turn, this fast forwarding of the calendar makes me want
to forget the whole thing and leave for Bora Bora where
they have never heard about any of this — or if they
are inclined to celebrate, all that is required is a new
grass skirt.
Mufflers, etc.
The topic of grass skirts is a perfect segway into Mother
Cherni’s annual take on the fall fashion scene. This
year, even if you remember to get your flu shot, it will
be stylish to look as though you have a sore throat. Mufflers
of all shapes and sizes are wrapped several times around
the neck and although it would seems contradictory, paired
with sheer, baby-doll tops. The baby-doll and peasant tops,
incidentally, make everyone look about four months pregnant.
Python- printed skinny trousers are big news ... just the
thing for women with curvy thighs; they can now resemble
a slithering snake as they walk — IF they can walk
in the high platform shoes which are inexplicably again
fashionable.
Personally, I think the likes of Manolo Blahnik and Christian
Louboutin, who design these monstrosities women are supposed
to manage to walk in, should be cited for torture along
with those Chinese emperors who decreed the practice of
female foot-binding.
Over-the-knee boots are “hot” and reach a new
high, coming up to the thigh. “But, to avoid looking
like a hooker, pair them with a long, tunic top,”
advises one style magazine. If I ever spent the requisite
hour and a half it would take to get into a pair of thigh-high
boots, I darn well wouldn’t be hiding them under a
long, tunic top, even if it meant being approached by some
unsavory male.
Wellingtons, the British rubber boot staple, are modeled
by Kate Moss with a mini-dress, so ladies, dig out those
old rubber garden galoshes and pair them with that too short
wool dress from 15 years ago. Viola, you’re in, baby.
Among the “little luxuries” promoted by one
magazine, a $140 gold tone metal skull key ring charm with
crystal eyes was really awful looking, even if you are into
the vampire and gothic garb mode and like your pocketbooks
and shoes covered with nail studs and chains.
Other, “little” luxuries included a Fendi coin
purse at $260 and Vuitton bracelets at $265 each. Faux fur
vests and suede accessories are in (a holdover from last
year) and we are told to “toughen up a feminine piece
with a leather jacket” ... another one of the inconsistencies
of today’s fashions.
Hippie chic
New York City stores recently hosted a one-night “Fashion’s
Night Out” in an effort to stimulate business. Present
at Macy’s were such luminaries as Anna Wintour of
Vogue, designers, Michael Kors and Diane Von Furstenberg.
In what to me is a puzzling mismatch, Bergdorf Goodman,
that purveyor of haute couture and elegant fashions, featured
the Olsen twins best known for their off-beat “hippie
chic” styles. Clothing manufacturers looking to increase
sales have hopped onto the celebrity bandwagon as though
having Nicole Richie or Paris Hilton as “style advisers”
will increase sales to anyone except teeny-boppers who think
the height of fashion is wearing some large lettered logo
across your behind.
I’m no fashion pundit (although I did spend several
years working as a fashion publicist) but it seems pretty
obvious that in today’s economy, women are looking
for value. We will always love to shop for something new,
but now especially it needs to be something that is well
made and won’t look completely out of style by the
following year. Until the fashion industry stops beating
the drum for the far-out and the impractical at extravagant
prices, store sales are doomed to remain stagnant.
Perhaps designers need to take a cue from the yellow buses
once again on the road and go back to school.
Jean Cherni is founder of Senior
Living Solutions, a retirement advisory service. Contact
her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds, Branford
06405.
H. Pearce Company REALTORS®
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