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Self-help books
are now so popular they have earned (in addition to millions
for the authors) an entire special section at Barnes &
Noble. Starting with “How to Win Friends and Influence
People” way back in 1936, there is now a book to help
you solve any and all of life’s problems ... large
or small.
One best seller, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne,
claims if you concentrate and think really hard, you can
attract wealth, health or whatever else you desire. This
so-called “incredible revelation” reminded me
of Professor Howard Hill of “The Music Man,”
who sold band instruments with his “think and you
can play” theory.
Dr. Wayne Dyer’s latest, “The Power of Intention,”
sees intention as a creative field of energy we can learn
to access to co-create our lives. In “Do One Thing
Different,” Bill O’Hanlon presents sensible
solutions to life’s persistent problems, while David
Allen’s “Ready for Anything” presents
pointers for living a more productive life. Last, but not
least, there is the not-so-delicately titled, but straight
to the point, “Cut the Crap and Resolve Your Problems.”
We seem to be a nation of people who are eternally searching
for ways to be better.
Better mothers, fathers, cooks, gardeners, lovers, bosses,
employees, speakers, listeners, shoppers, home decorators,
husbands, wives, grandparents or just improved versions
of ourselves, (Oprah’s motto of “Be the best
you can be”).
Nothing wrong with any of these aspirations, I suppose,
but I wonder just how far all this reading about self-improvement
really gets us. While cleaning out the basement recently,
(which is certainly not the best IT could be), I came across
some really old magazines, and guess what the leading articles
were all about?
Working Woman’s June 1985 issue featured, “How
to Beat Stress and Look Your Best,” “Is Your
Job Meeting Your Needs?” and a “Knock-Em Dead
Dessert Recipe.” American Health magazine of November
1986, “The Truth About Wrinkles,” “Do
Optimists Live Longer?” and the premier issue of a
magazine called Spring, which came out in April 1982, but
must have needed some help itself because it failed, “Power
Thinking, New Techniques to Get Your Agenda Rolling.”
And even though it is off the subject of self-help, final
proof that things haven’t really changed, an issue
of Connecticut magazine from October 1987 had an article
titled, “Why Our Bridges Are Falling Down.”
My mother was an avid reader, and I was always read to
as a child, but the books that were in our home were, for
the most part, the classics, Dickens, Conan Doyle, Jane
Austen, James Barrie, and occasionally a new best seller,
usually about a current political or social issue. It was
pretty much taken for granted that part of growing up was
learning how to control your temper, look your best, do
your best, be thoughtful and appreciative of others, and
put something aside for a rainy day.
Parents who put down strong, clear guidelines and served
as good examples themselves were all the help that was needed.
What has occurred in the years since that we now must turn
to myriad unknown experts to solve our problems and answer
our most personal, private questions? Maybe, at least until
it’s time when I feel compelled to make a New Year’s
resolution, I’ll just sit here and vegetate, feeling
smug and content in my present imperfect state. And if I
do decide to read a book, it will be a biography or a mystery.
Jean Cherni is founder of Senior
Living Solutions, a retirement advisory service. Contact
her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds, Branford
06405.
H. Pearce Company REALTORS®
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