Chelsea and Marc picked a date near and dear to our hearts

By Jean Cherni, H. Pearce Company's Senior Living Services Program

In addition to the many years separating us from Marc and Chelsea, our circumstances as a young, about-to-be married couple were also vastly different.

The Clintons are reputed to have spent almost $5 million on the wedding; I doubt if ours cost more than $500. I paid for my own wedding gown (a simple ankle-length, lace-trimmed dress in blush pink).

There was none of the family arguments or over-the-top months of planning that many television “bridal shows” would have us believe is now commonplace. Our New York City acquaintances were invited to attend the candlelight ceremony in Flushing’s Unitarian Church, but the small reception at the Swan Club on Long Island near my parent’s home was limited to family and a very few longtime friends.

My aunt came from Michigan and made the floral arrangements for the table; my New York City roommate was my maid of honor and only attendant; my cousin sang at our wedding and my uncle served as the official photographer. There must have been a small band at the reception because I remember Val twirled me in such a fast pace to the polka, I became red-faced and out of breath.

It was, I still recall, a beautiful wedding and a perfect day ... almost to the very last.

Weeks before the wedding, in the apartment I shared with two other working girls, I had laboriously packed my honeymoon suitcase, carefully placing my going-away suit and lacy nightwear between layers of tissue paper and scented sachets. Since ours was an evening ceremony, we planned to spend the first night at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in New York before leaving for our honeymoon in Canada.

When the reception wound down, Val and I departed by limo for New York, but instead of going directly to the hotel, Val told the driver to stop at his apartment (which was to become our apartment, since he had the cheapest rent). It seemed he needed to pack his suitcase.

Upon arrival at the apartment, I was shocked to learn that not only had he neglected to pack anything, there were dishes piled sky high in the sink. “Now, I know why you got married ... You just needed someone to do the dishes,” I railed at him. But there was no help for it; the limo driver and I had to wait while Val nonchalantly threw a few things together in a battered suitcase while remaining maddeningly calm throughout my sobs and tirade, a trait that has helped him survive subsequent temperamental outbursts over 57 years.

Val is a procrastinator; I want everything accomplished immediately. He is frugal; I tend to some extravagances. I am gregarious and outgoing while he is quiet and contemplative. I’m sure any of the Internet dating services that couples use today would never have matched us up.

Nevertheless, we work well as a team; our strengths and weaknesses apparently complement each other. Perhaps our marriage has lasted because I think we both have tried to put the needs of the marriage before the wants of the individual, but that has never meant that we have not done things as individuals, separate from one another and in keeping with our own special interests.

Val has always understood and encouraged my need for outside stimulation and involvement in meaningful work, and I have tried (not always successfully) to understand his engineer’s obsession with details and his stubborn need to question everything at least three times.

While it would be nice for any couple to start married life with good jobs and an ample bank account, as the Mezvinskys are, Chelsea, more than many young brides, must be painfully aware that those factors alone won’t supply the glue of commitment that holds a marriage together. She and Marc have known each other a long time, and she appears to be a young lady who is both bright and down to earth as well.

So here’s to you, Chelsea and Marc ... may you not only share our wedding date, may you eventually share a 57th anniversary date as well. Good luck, God bless and mazel tov.

Jean Cherni is founder of Senior Living Solutions, a retirement advisory service.  Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds, Branford 06405.

H. Pearce Company REALTORS® is a full-service real estate company with more than 100 agents and branch offices in greater New Haven and the Shoreline. Corporate and & Commercial offices are located in North Haven, where the company was founded in 1958. All listings can be found in color on the web at: www.hpearce.com.