| We remember our mothers
several times each year: Mother’s Day, of course, Easter,
Valentine’s Day and on her birthday. Somehow, Dad is
either forgotten or perhaps, just taken for granted. Then,
suddenly it’s Father’s Day and what to buy for
good old Dad to show that although most of the year he’s
definitely in the background in the family order of things,
you really do think he’s pretty terrific.
Would a new tie send the right message? While many men
depend on the fair sex to select their ties, in many companies
nowadays, open-necked shirts or even sports shirts are the
uniform, so I think ties as a gift are definitely passé.
As to cuff links, they are now only worn on the most formal
of occasions and Dad already has plenty of key chains, wallets,
cologne and travel alarm clocks. Socks and underwear ...
now really ... for a gift?
Which leaves taking him to dinner or a show, tickets to
his favorite sporting event or perhaps the latest electronic
device (if you know his taste and Dad’s capabilities
with doodads). Dads are notoriously difficult to buy for;
maybe that’s why they remain quietly forgotten.
We are, after all, a nation of consumers and we celebrate
all holidays and occasions by purchasing something, often
for ourselves as well as the person or occasion being celebrated.
Additionally, fathers are no longer the undisputed head
of the household. In the delightful play, “Life with
Father” everything revolved around the father, Clarence
Day, and any variance from his absolute word was done via
good-natured ploys and schemes behind his back by the rest
of the family.
In times past, father was the sole breadwinner and thus
the sole authority. Women’s presence and success in
the workforce has definitely shifted that balance of power.
It is worth noting that our current and a recent president
were both raised by single mothers. There is no question,
however, that family stability and good family dynamics
are greatly enhanced by the presence of a stable, caring
father.
As an only child, I was included in the activities of grown-ups
at a very young age. My father had only a few rules, but
those were definite and inflexible. The most important life
lesson he conveyed to me was to never judge a person by
their wealth, education, color of their skin, religion or
their sex.
He felt that as a girl or a woman, I could do anything.
I recall how angry he became and how he risked his own job
with the phone company by supporting the women who went
on strike at the company because they were denied many of
the positions reserved for “family men.”
So to you Dads who (despite this column) are gifted with
an awful floral tie or cologne that smells like old rubber
tires, or feel forgotten this Father’s Day, keep on
with the difficult job of being a father.
Years later, things that you said, or most especially,
things that you did, will bear fruit. I may have sometimes
forgotten Dad on this, his day, but his influence which
came from the kind of person he was, has remained with me,
every day of my life.
Jean Cherni is founder of Senior
Living Solutions, a retirement advisory service. Contact
her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds, Branford
06405.
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is a full-service real estate company with more than 100
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Corporate and & Commercial offices are located in North
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